Broken Hands, Empty Bottles. Summertime in the Willamette Valley.

I guess I should add stubborn weather and constant sneezing to that description, but I don't think anyone can make allergies sound the least bit romantic. At least the unseasonable rain does give a bit of relief from the pollen. That's me, always looking at the bright side of things. I actually have very little intention of complaining (surprise, surprise) I just figured I owed my public a bit of a ramble since it's been 2 months since the last one. I did have a pretty epic 7 point plan to have THE BEST SUMMER EVER. Something about this being the last summer in my twenties, combined with my lack of being on call all the time, made me get a little over ambitious. It's been a bit of a rough start. Fortunately, step 7 was deviate from the plan whenever necessary, so that's the step I have been following most closely.

So far it hasn't been too bad. I am in school for the next eight weeks, and while I would rather probably be loafing in a kiddie pool somewhere, lord knows I did not need to invite the kind of trouble that four months off of school and a steady stream of unemployment checks could conjure up. I broke my right pinky playing softball (and with the big 16 inch Chicago ball too, traitor!), but fortunately it is on the hand I already broke once, so I think the previous nerve damage is making it pretty painless. If that came off as macabre in any way, I really didn't mean it too. I am just very happy that it hurts as little as it does.

On the upside, I've already been camping (the last time was about 3 years ago, so long over due) and I figure (with admittedly corrupt logic) that since I already broke something, that somehow makes the Rock Slides and other adventures all the safer.

I don't plan on getting too sidetracked by these little upsets. This could still go down in the books as the best summer yet. If not, I guess there's always my 30's.

Live: Wire

In some sort of late 20's punk rock pissing contest, I decided to pretend that I wasn't too busy in the middle of the week to drive 4 hours round trip to see a show. Who needs sleep? These guys put out one of my favorite albums of all time; Pink Flag. Of course, that was in the '70s and the subsequent albums have ranged from disappointing to intolerable, but hell, I can sit through half a set of crap to see them live and hopefully hear a couple classics. Unfortunately, I apparently only like their album Pink Flag and their performance was crushingly boring. I know they have the right to "evolve as artists" and all that, and quite frankly, they're in their 60's so maybe not the dynamos of energy they once were. Still, I saw the Ex play last month and while a similar band demographically, they destroyed my face with their set. And I had never previously heard a single song they played, they had just somehow managed to bring as much energy and intention to their new stuff as the old.

I found that I felt embarrassed for ever liking Wire. Sure, Pink Flag will always be a great album, but as an aging punk I fell into the trap of associating my own identity with what in the end turns out to be just some band. As I wandered amidst the morbidly obese in their studded leather bustiers (the show was at Dante's after all) I wonder "What the hell I am doing here?". Then there was the kinda skinhead guy in the TSOL shirt dancing like a raver. Ugh. The one consolation was at least I had avoided the bad band tattoo trap; given my stature, demeanor and incongruous heterosexuality, the last thing I needed to go with my mohawk as a kid was a tattoo of a pink flag.

The next day, crippled with exhaustion, I manage to publicly screw up in front of everyone of consequence in the Math department. I can no longer even cling to the idea that while I may be the dumbest person in the department, at least I have better taste in music. That hurts more than anything.

AS&S!

I am sorry I have been remiss in my bloggerly duties. One of the things that has been recently distracting me is my exciting new package I just received from American Science and Surplus. http://www.sciplus.com/index.cfm

This place is the absolute best. I guess they now have a few physical locations throughout the greater Chicagoland area. I used to go to the one on the far, far Northwest side every time I realized I had about 6 hours in which to whip up my science fair project for the year, or whenever I desperately needed 600 teddy bear eyes. They never failed to have enough weird shit to come up with something. In someways, I like their website even better. I know that may sound strange, because wandering the vastness of their physical collection is pretty spectacular, but there is something truly special about their online catalog. For one thing, they not only provide photographs of the vast array of transistor switches and rubber dinosaurs, they actually have some schlub that sits around and does line drawings of EVERYTHING. This must be someones full time job and I am so thrilled that a job like that exists.

They also have the most ridiculous tag system imaginable. (I found this image of "tweedlers" while searching the tag "FatNSweaty". Don't ask me why.)

On my last visit to the site, in addition to the array of rubber dinosaurs, periodic table mugs and, of course, teddy bear eyes, I ordered,  I decided to risk it and order their mystery box. For $10 bucks you get a bunch of weird stuff. They have two options, the "Consumer" and "Electro-Mechanical" surprise box. I went with the consumer version. Totally worth it. I am sure if you build robots in your spare time, the electro-mechanical option would be better than Christmas.

As you can see a portion of above, I received a plethora of fun time junk. I think the gem of the bunch may be the Black Heritage wrapping paper, although the creepy glasses with the white out eyes are also pretty wonderful.

All Hail Mac n' Cheese

My favorite food of all time is bread and cheese in any of its many incarnations; pizza, grilled cheese, fondue, French onion soup, baked Brie, you name it. I must also give the shout out to its not so distant cousin, the one and only mac n' cheese. I love this stuff. I even love the crappy box kind. Come the apocalypse, I will last a long while on tuna mac n' peas with a little help from our friends at Kraft. I remember one time getting sick as a kid, I was probably 5, and asking my dad to make me some mac for lunch. Me being the snotty brat I was, was greatly disappointed when he whipped some up from scratch.

Little did I know then that good, homemade mac and cheese is possibly the best thing on the planet. I ate macaroni and cheese for three meals yesterday. After polishing off the left overs from my own homemade batch, I was still up for a late night visit to the mac n' cheese cart on 8th ("Muncheese" I believe). Theirs is pretty good- I went with the basic version sprinkled with a little green onion.

After some recipe scouring and alteration, this is more or less the one I stick to:

You will want to eat this by the bucket, so it's good to make a lot.

• 2 lbs pasta
• Dash olive oil

• 4 tbs butter
• 5 tbs flour
• 1.5 tbs mustard powder
• 1 tbs salt
• 2 tsp black or cayenne pepper (your preference)
• 3.5 cups Milk
• 2 cups 1/2 and 1/2
• 2 cups monterey jack cheese (for excellent melty-ness)
• 2 cups sharp chedder, Gruyeres, or other flavorful cheese. If you want to use a blue cheese, up the montery jack by 1 c and use one cup of blue

• 1 cup potato chip crumbles (the ridgy kind)

If you have a dutch oven, it's the best pot to use. Other wise you'll need a heavy bottom sauce pan and a baking dish.

Pre-heat broiler on the oven

Cook up the pasta. Al dente is fine, but it's better to over cook it that be left with crunchy mac. Drain, toss with just a little oil and set aside. With the dutch oven on the stove top, melt the butter over medium heat. Add in the flour and spices, whisking as you go. As it starts to brown, add the milk and 1/2 and 1/2. Stirring constantly (I mean it!) bring the milk to a low boil. I've burnt it before, and it's not bad- kinda smoky, but it's way better when you don't. Remove from heat and quickly whisk in the cheeses, stirring until melted. Add the pasta, and return to heat over medium low until the pasta is warmed through. If you're  not using a dutch oven, transfer to baking dish. Sprinkle the top with the potato chip crumbles and place under the broiler for 2-5 minutes until crispy golden brown on top. Eat it!

Variations: I am often a purist when it comes to tried and true goodness, but adding some bacon crumbles or prosciutto when you add the cheese is pretty good. Brown some chopped up leeks in the butter before you add the flour, also very nice. Fresh chives/ green onions are a bright contrast.

Putting my nose where it don't belong: 2010 Election

With election day here and gone, and with Oregon yet to know if our future governor will be the a former NBA center or the guy who champions universal healthcare, I am left a little depressed that this is even a choice. Celebrity politicians are a ridiculous concept, which we as Americans embrace like no other country. At least famous is more important than rich. In California, a state that can't pay its bills, the gubernatorial race was the most expensive in history. Meg Whitman (former Ebay executive) spent 160 million dollars on her campaign only to lose to Jerry Brown, who is now old as dirt and sports a comical track record for presidential attempts. Did the Dead Kennedys teach us nothing? I almost understand why people give up on voting, but then I look at Oregon's governors race and I can't help but think that if more of my friends did vote then at least we wouldn't be the next state in line to elect a pro-athlete. I know that America can seems like a terrible place. Still, to take for granted the right to vote seems selfish and lazy. We still discriminate against felons by taking their right to vote, and I am sure plenty of them would like to use it- and allowing them the vote could lead to much needed prison reform.

Does voting change everything? No. Does it help a little? Yes, particularly on a local level. It's too late now for my griping, but remember that while Obama may not be the knight in shining armor we hoped for, he hasn't started any intractable land wars in the last little bit either.

http://whatthefuckhasobamadonesofar.com/

Fish and House Guests

Sorry for the delay faithful reader, but yours truly was playing hostess for most of the last week and I have to say I slacked on my domesticity. I hadn't seen Andrew in something like 15 years, so in between the reminiscing, the boozing and the getting trapped on a road behind a fallen snag there just wasn't much room for productivity. We never quite made it to the grocery store, so Andrew and Lauren got a tour of the best restaurants Eugene has to offer, at least according to me and Germ. We also did the whole winery tour thing. They say that house guests shouldn't stay longer in the house than fish does in the refrigerator (rumored to be 3 days), but the first of the leftovers just started to turn today, so I say the 6 day visit was just about right. Here's where we hit up:

Izakaya Meiji- 3rd and Van Buren. Japanese Honkey Tonk. I may be a little biased because I like the owners and the employees of this place, but I am pretty sure that the reality is that they have kick ass food that's incredibly well priced and the best whiskey selection in town. They make the screwdrivers with fresh squeezed OJ for chrissake, it's incredible.

Ubon Thai- The bright yellow Thai cart is located just past four corners on Hwy 99 on the left side if you're coming from the south. They have finally figured out they have a good thing going and raised their prices from the ridiculously cheap $5.50 to the more modest $7 for most things. Andrew has been to Thailand and even he was impressed.

Mi Tierra- Between 6th and 7th on Blair. Mexican.This place is cheap, tasty has a nice little tienda store next door. Definitely Pick up a pint of their green salsa to go. Goat tacos =  rad. Germ loves the lengua, but I am too freaked out by the idea of eating taste buds for it.

Pho Yi Shen- 11th and Grant (I think, it's just before Garfield). Vietnamese. The ready made food is delicious and a great value, but the real gem is the little market. Often they have great produce (I have recently become addicted to sprouting broccoli and they carry it pretty regularly) and their products even venture into the strange with those cicadas that have fungus growing out of their eyeballs.

Fisherman's Market- 7th and Blair. Fish n' Chips. It's actually a little frustrating that living this close to the ocean, that this is one of the better options for fish in this town. It's not bad, it's just not fantastic. Their smoked tuna is pretty spectacular though.

Skate World- Gateway Loop. White Trash. Don't actually eat here, its five dollars for a soda, but rollerskating is pretty freaking fun.

Cornucopia- 5th and Pearl, 17th and Lincoln. American Bar Food. On Monday nights you can come down to the one at 5th and Pearl, grab a giant burger and a drink for their $10 special and watch me be a total trivia night psychopath.

We actually didn't make it to Mezza Luna, but since I am doing the review thing I thought I would give them a shout out as my favorite pizza joint.

The Wineries.

We did the Lorraine Highway loop back through Crow. Every map in Oregon lists them because it is our only thriving tourist industry. I still think winery is kind of a funny word, which may indicate some of my total lack of wine knowledge.

Château Lorraine- This place used to make great mead, but their wine maker went back to New Zealand and the experience was pretty disappointing. $2 for about 7 samples, none of which were very good.

King Estate- This place definitely looks the part. It has the grand approach and acres of vines. The wines are pretty tasty, the "Next: Red" was our favorite. It was good enough to convince us to buy a bottle and stay for lunch. I would recommend against eating there. We got the charcuterie plate, and even with an onsite charcuterie (meat smoker), it was pretty disappointing. They also threatened a 5$ corking fee for a bottle we bought there, which seemed a little silly. $5 for 8 samples, or free for two. The fee is waived if you buy a bottle from the testing, which is a pretty good deal.

Sweet Cheeks- So it could be that by the time you get to the 3rd winery, you're just more likely to view them in a positive light. It could also be that they have a pretty serious wine tasting, the service was good and it was free. Sweet Cheeks is a relatively new vintner, and so far everything I've had from them is pretty good. Free tasting, every Friday night they have a wine and cheese pairing, Sunday is mimosa day and you can bring your own picnic.

Introductions to the rest of the family.

I guess I should briefly introduce the two people in the world brave enough to cohabitate with me. One of them is not actually a people, but he thinks he is.

Earl is the big fat fatty fat dog of my heart. Germ is the other fuzzy beastie running around the place, and my darling husband as well. His real name is Jeremy, so the nickname is not quite as dismal as it seems. I will spare him the embarrassment of posting a picture that documents the fact that he really is almost as hairy as the dog. They are both brave souls who tolerate my craziness in hope that I will eventually cook them dinner.

My mother Penny, affectionately referred to from henceforth as The Pen-Pen, lives about 20 miles South of here and will likely figure into stories here and there. She and my dad owned a restaurant, so that is partly where the culinary psychosis stems from.

My sister Sarah just moved to Portland, it is the first time we have lived in the same state in almost 20 years, so we will see how this new found proximity will affect daily domestic life. She's a bit of a neat freak, so at bare minimum I have to "Sarah Clean" (a term dreaded by both my mother and I) once a month instead of every couple years. Fortunately, as I get older (and have less roommates) that becomes easier and is not quite the stressor it once was.

The extended family is probably too broad to delve into here and now, but there are a whole host of people that pop in and out of the house.

Until next time, Cheers.

( I am currently cheersing with a passion fruit-orange mimosa. I just found out today that Goya sells frozen passion fruit pulp available at the local market. Yum.)